Globes: 'Argo,' congratulate yourself, Ben Affleck
05:00 AM, Jan 13, 2013
11:00: AWARD: Fey and Poehler bid the audience, “Good night! We’re goin’ home with Jodie Foster!”
10:59: AWARD: Argo, congratulate yourself! Ben Affleck’s ode to the CIA and Foreign Service takes the top prize.
10:50: AWARD: Thanks to Meryl Streep’s flu, George Clooney sticks around to present the dramatic actor prize, too. It goes to Lincoln star Daniel Day-Lewis, who warns that “the Queen of England is about to parachute in to make a last-minute case for Skyfall.”
10:49: AWARD: Zero Dark Thirty’s Jessica Chastain collects the Globe for actress in a motion picture drama, telling director Kathryn Bigelow that she’s “done more for women in cinema than you take credit for.”
10:41: AWARD: Can you hear the people coming up to accept the Golden Globe for motion picture comedy or musical? It’s the Les Mis crew.
10:31: AWARD: And the Globe for actor in a motion picture comedy or musical goes to … 24601! Hugh Jackman wins for Les Mis. He tells director Tom Hooper, “Without you, mate, I would not be standing here. I never told you this,” he continues, “but three weeks in, we had a terrible rehearsal and I was going to call you and tell you someone else had to play this role. My wife talked me out of it.”
10:25: AWARD: We’re seeing a lot of Lena Dunham’s back tattoo tonight. She’s back up to accept the TV comedy/musical series Globe for Girls.
10:18: AWARD: Ben Affleck wins the directing Globe for Argo. Wonder if the accountants are doing a recount on the Oscar nominations as I type this. Conveniently, his wife, Jennifer Garner, is scheduled to present an award when they come back from commercial and is able to thank the folks he forgot. No big deal, it was only executive producers George Clooney and Grant Heslow.
10:05: Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award recipient Jodie Foster opens up her speech by quoting Molly Shannon’s old Saturday Night Live character Sally O’Mally: “I’m 50! I’m 50!” Later, she works her way up to a big revelation, one that her publicist may be nervous about: “I’m single!” But she makes it clear she won’t be going the whole “make the public revelation, followed by the tabloid cover and reality show” route “because my life is so boring.” She goes on to thank her former partner, Cydney Bernard, her sons and her mom, evoking tears from the audience.
9:59: Uh-oh. Seems Tina and Amy took Lena Dunham’s “you got me through middle school” compliment the wrong way. Now they’re half in the bag and proving themselves to be mean drunks: “Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son!”
9:51: AWARD: Lena Dunham wins her first Golden Globe for TV comedy actress in Girls. “I always thought I’d be a cooler customer if this ever happened,” she says shakily, before thanking the other nominees for getting her through “middle school, mono and a ruptured eardrum.”
9:46: AWARD: Before handing the prize for animated film to Brave, Sacha Baron Cohen rips on his Les Mis co-stars: “Hugh Jackson (sic) lost 30 pounds, which for Gerard Depardieu would just be a trip to the toilet. And Russell Crowe took four months of singing lessons. That’s money well spent!”
9:37: AWARD: Dramatic TV actress winner Claire Danes says she told the Homeland cast and crew very early on that “Carrie was carrying” and proceeds to thank everyone from the wardrobe lady “who took my pants out every week” to her newborn son, Cyrus.
9:34: AWARD: It’s the Austrian hour, as Arnold Schwarzenegger presents the Globe for foreign language film to Amour, which hails from his homeland despite its French title.
9:28: AWARD: Don Cheadle is a surprise winner in the TV comedic actor race for Showtime’s House of Lies. It’s his third nomination and first win in over a decade. He first made his mark on the HFPA with 1999’s TV movie The Rat Pack.
9:24: AWARD: Quentin Tarantino wins his second original screenplay Globe for Django Unchained. “This is a damn surprise!”
9:15: AWARD: Anne Hathaway takes the supporting actress Globe for Les Mis, and gives one of the night’s most amusing acceptance speeches thus far. Among those on her thank-you list: Tina Fey for giving us the word “blerg,” the film crew for pretending to like live singing at 7 a.m., and Sally Field for defying typecasting. “It’s such a relief to know that the Flying Nun grew up to be Norma Rae and Mama Gump.”
9:13: AWARD: Game Change ups its Globes tally with a win by Ed Harris.
9:05: AWARD: Jennifer Lawrence, or J. Law, as presenters Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell have dubbed her, takes the motion picture comedy actress for Silver Linings Playbook. She gives what might be the best thank-you yet: “Harvey (Weinstein), thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today!”
8:59: Bill Clinton introduces Lincoln, though he says he doesn’t know anything about forcing a tough bill through Congress. “What an exciting guest,” Amy Poehler gushes afterward. “That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!”
8:56: AWARD: Kevin Costner picks up the miniseries actor Globe for Hatfields and McCoys. And if you were paying close attention as the camera panned around the room, you saw Tina Fey doing a fairly convincing impression of Johnny Depp.
8:49: AWARD: Adele picks up the original song Golden Globe for Skyfall, and says it was well worth enduring the long transatlantic flight with a baby. The original score prize is awarded to Life of Pi composer Mychaeal Danna.
8:43: Tony Mendez, the real-life CIA operative Ben Affleck played in Argo, introduces the film in the best dramatic picture race.
8:35: AWARD: It’s a double dip for Homeland, as the Showtime drama wins for the second time. “I wish you could have seen an 8-months-pregnant Claire Danes running with a pipe down a sewer drain being chased by Abu Nazir at three in the morning,” says co-creator/exec producer Alex Gansa. “We kinda killed ourselves this season, and getting this tells me maybe we didn’t screw it up.” He goes on to thank departed stars David Harewood, Jamey Sheridan and Navid Nebahgan, whose characters “were all sacrificed on the altar of this season’s story line.”
8:33: AWARD: The Globe for TV drama actor will be going home with Homeland’s Damian Lewis. Despite all the Brits playing Americans on TV, it still sounds especially weird to hear Lewis’ own accent coming out of that tiny mouth.
8:30: The president of the HFPA just said, “Bradley Cooper, call me maybe.” OK, Carly Rae Jepsen, it’s time to follow Psy’s lead and retire your hit.
8:22: AWARD: Good thing Julianne Moore didn’t go far — she wins for her performance in Game Change. She thanks Fey and Katie Couric for helping sway the 2008 election.
8:18: AWARD:Game Change wins for TV movie. Director/producer Jay Roach speaks for the group, pointing out that with Tina Fey and Julianne Moore in the same room, they’ve got two of the three best Sarah Palin impersonators, the third being the woman herself.
8:12: AWARD: Downton Abbey’s Maggie Smith wins the supporting actress prize for television, but the Dowager Countess is a no-show.
8:08: AWARD: The supporting actor Golden Globe for film goes to everyone’s favorite Austrian, Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained.
8:00: Here we go, and man, is Tina Fey ever taking advantage of that endorsement deal with Garnier Fructis — she’s even got her hair down at an award show. Some memorable jokes from Tina and Amy’s monologue: “Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television.” … “When left untreated, HFPA can lead to cervical cancer.” … “Anne Hathaway, I have not seen anyone left alone and abandoned like that since you did the Oscars with James Franco.” … “I have not been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I’m going to trust the lady who was married to James Cameron.” … “Quentin Tarantino is here, the mastermind of all my sexual nightmares.”